MOTHERS DAY

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all mothers out there!

as for me, i got a big, humongous card from hafiz and mirza today!

remember, dont be too hard on your mom on this day, ya? ;)

DISCHARGED

hafiz has been discharged by the doctor today and given a clean bill of health. his lungs has expanded fully and the tube taken out from his lungs. now comes the real healing process...to lead a healthy lifestyle. no more smoking, eat well, sleep well, exercise, ect...just that next week he has to take out the stitches on the part where the tube was inserted.

sometimes its the simple things that we do in life, that makes us healthy, that we tend to forget.

as for hafiz, this has been a tremendous wake-up call for him. the minute he step foot @ home, he went for a brisk walk (which he never did) and just smelled the fresh air...

thank you for all your prayers while hafiz was admitted. only god can repay your kindness.

syukur, alhamdulillah.

TRANSFERRED

hafiz got transferred to another hospital early this morning, and referred to another specialist. we're a bit concerned because the healing process is taking a bit longer than usual. the other day his lungs was expanding nicely but last two days, it shrinked a bit again, and it's not suppose to happen. the hospital here is more equipped with facilities so it's better he be monitored here instead. the new doctor treating hafiz now is one of the best. i hope he really can find out what is happening...and god am i scared of the future results. im so scared that i cry alone. i have one look at hafiz on the bed and it melts my heart. all sorts of things running in my mind. but i do know the power of the Al-Mighty and if He grants it, hafiz will be better in no time. for now, banyak2 berdoa and ikhtiar.

as for me, i had a good rest over at my sisters house today as she helped me take care of mirza for a few hours while i had my rest. i pity mirza so much because i know he needs me and hafiz and with him being with us at the hospital, i just keep on scolding him, which is not good. i dont wanna do that, scolding him endlessly. so today alhamdulillah he had a great time with all his cousins and niece and surprisingly, my sister said he was so well behaved! listening and following what my sister has to say. but one condition : he just wants my sister to feed him, bathe him and dress him up and all's good. thank you kaklong for helping me. i really needed that rest. and most importantly, thank you for making mirza occupied with you. i know i can count on my siblings when it's needed. so tomorrow, my inlaws will take care of mirza. i specifically told them not to bring mirza here so that he gets accustomed to the idea that sometimes mummy & abah cant be around him all the time but someone else close can be there for him. if all else fails, i'm sending him back at my sister's since he's so well behaved there!

ok people thats my update for today. i've gotta keep a close watch on hafiz now because he is having a fever and has just been given a strong pain killer, which will make him drowsy. he's now in between the real world and dream world...

nanite peeps.

PNEUMOTHORAX

*image credit from Medicinenet*

this is what made hafiz admitted ;

PNEUMOTHORAX - Pneumothorax occurs when air leaks from inside of the lung to the space between the lung and the chest wall. The lung then collapses. The dark side of the chest (see attached picture) is filled with air that is outside of the lung tissue.

it's officially 6 days since hafiz has been admitted. i try and get a shut-eye whenever i can. the least i can get is probably around 3 hours per-day. but i try to just nap in the wee hours of the morning, because if i fall asleep soundly, then the chances of me hearing hafiz calling me out is zero.

i'm tired and exhausted but i try not to show it to people. but when i really am tired, i'll show and the percentage of me snapping is highly likely. but i'm doing all this for hafiz because he needs me. he has told me everyday since he got admitted that he just wants me to be by his side, and just help him get through all this, without judging him why it happened. he says he only gets to sleep soundly if i sleep with him on the bed, eventhough if its just for an hour. he says he needs just me...it breaks my heart everytime i step out of the hospital room, to go home (3 minutes drive from the hospital), because i know he needs me. and only god knows how i feel...

as for mirza, i know he is having a hard time coping without me and hafiz @ home. he's never been seperated from us like this. he has been with us every night since he was born, so i guess its traumatic for him to be detached from us. so he's giving all this tantrums, all this irritating vibes just to get attention. i know it's taking a toll on the people trying to take care of him, but i never did ask for all this to happen. and i don't know if it's the right reason to have mirza sleep and stay with us together at the hospital (read previous post). i know i need to focus 100% on hafiz but now it has been divided into half. like i said, i dont know if what im doing is right and at the same time, i dont want to burden the people with mirza's tantrums because he can be very hard to cope when in tantrum. and i can only do so much...i'm very stressed and exhausted i just cant think straight. i hope that god will help me ease my burden at times like this...but for now, mirza is still with us, at the hospital.

'Allah is testing me as a wife and a mother now' and saya redha...

please pray for hafiz's speedy recovery.

SPACIOUS

we moved to a spacious room at the hospital here. hafiz is already out of the HDU but he is still confined to the hospital bed. no discharge yet and i dont even know when it will be. but not so soon. he will only be discharged once his lungs are fully expanded.

so tonight, since the room is spacious (bigger than our room @ home), we brought along mirza to be with us, since he has not been sleeping with us since 4 nights ago. he had all this tantrums because this is the 1st time that mirza has been separated from me and hafiz since he was born. guess it was a shock for him hence the tantrums.

not so bored here though. i take care of hafiz and still have my entertainment when he's resting/sleeping. i did'nt know that they have free wifi here @ the hospital! but i dont use it since i brought along my maxis broadband, and this area im in is a HSDPA area ;) oh and we also brought along our astro smart card. can't live without astro! LOL

and thank god for Starbucks just opposite this hospital...

...and the 24/7 McDonalds across the road too :)

as for hafiz, he's stable now, alhamdulillah. just that the doctors still need to run some tests to determine the cause of the illness and why. there's two possibility now, which i will elaborate soon once i get another briefing from the doctors. right now hafiz is sleeping soundly for the 1st time since he was admitted. good for him since he needs all the rest he can get.

please pray for his recovery.

ok i need to get my one hour sleep now. like i mentioned, i cant be sleeping it off when im supposed to take care of hafiz! kalau macam tu, baik balik rumah tido aje, kan?

nite2 sweets.

THIS PLACE

THIS PLACE, originally uploaded by lynahafiz.

[updated via mobile]

Still here.